Yeah right she's still Jenny from the block... J-Lo Opts for Fleet of Limos for 100-Yard Trip.

My damn monitor burned out last night. How come everyone knows that you can't keep a LCD monitor on 24/7 except me? (Yeah Steve, I'm admitting how stupid I am)... and when I told people about it today, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, told me "I thought you knew!" I know NOW!! :) So now I'm just borrowing my sister's LCD monitor until I get my new one from Dell... 17 inch LCD monitor - my mom insisted I get another LCD monitor (for convenience and less eye strain) and she insisted I get a 17 inch instead of another 15 inch because the price difference wasn't too much... yeah, I know I'm a spoiled brat!

For those of you who watched American Idol tonight, I read this comment about the show and I couldn't stop laughing... "Juanita makes me want to kill the children." - This girl had a really annoying voice and sang some song called "What about the Children" out of tune and got mad when the judges told her she sucked. They told her she chose the wrong song and she said something like, "How did I choose the wrong song when I'm asking America to think about the children??"

I watched Speed again tonight (it was on HBO) and yeah, I've gotta admit, Keanu Reeves was really cute back then. Really buff, etc. If only there wasn't a question on his preferences...

Justin Timberlake's Cry Me a River video is on MTV right now... I don't know where or when all my Justin love started (I think it might be cause I've always loved the name Justin - heehee, Computer Store Justin who I used to work with at UCLA, Justin Guarini, and now Justin Timberlake) but I like him so much I might have to bump someone off my Celebrity 5 list to make room for him. Hey everyone! Sign up for the Justin List... heehee I'm pathetic I know. Uh-oh, I just signed up for the list and the age options are under 11; 12; 13; 14; 15; 16; 17; Over 18...

Can this day go by any SLOWER????

Why am I still watching this shit? I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here! It's boring as hell but I guess that describes my life. Tyson - just sleep with that girl already, geez. I don't even get the concept of this show. Celebrity Mole was so much better. I guess I just tuned in to see Tyson Beckford (I think this it the first time I've heard him talk). They better show his body a couple more times soon or I'm switching the channel!

We had a birthday celebration today at work - it completely helped the work day go by faster! The birthday celebrations are the only chance all the employees get together in the conference room and just talk about whatever. A bunch of us were trying to explain the recent reality shows to one of the old partners in the firm. Joe Millionaire - They tell a bunch of girls that this guy just inherited $50 million even though he only makes $19,000 a year but in the end, they gave him and the girl he chose $500,000 each. "So he has no money?" "Yeah, he doesn't make that much but they gave him $500,000 in the end." "What does the girl get?" "She also gets $500,000." Simple enough. Then we tried to explain The Bachelorette - "They choose a bunch of guys for this girl to choose from and she chose one of them last night." "So what do they get?" "She gets him." "Thats it? What does he get?" "He gets to be with her." "That's all?? Who wants to be on that show?? I'd rather get something for it. What a jip."

Hey guys - check this out - Hottest Sports Personality... Vote LOGICALLY and come back to read the rest of the entry...

Why is Rick Fox third from the bottom??? And why is Tony Gonzalez last?? I don't understand this!! People, what are you thinking?? Eddie George?? He doesn't even belong on this list! (sorry to offend Eddie George fans)

I think I just feel like bitching right now. Long day so far and I'm just frustrated.

Also, a little late but I gotta congratulate Teck Holmes on making it in the real world after Real World Hawaii - he hosted Direct Effect on MTV but MTV related work after the Real World doesn't count. He's also been in that Van Wilder movie, he was in a Super Bowl commercial and now he's on Friends!

Here's what Real World Melissa had to say about the Budweiser commercial - Teck Money has a beer commercial! I was watching the commericals and I saw the girl in the beer commercial and I said out loud, "She's so cute!" and then two second later, I see Teck with three arms getting his straight paycheck on. I am so excited for him. Not just any commercial, a Super Bowl beer commercial. That's like winning an Oscar in commercial actor land. He said "I got 9 beers." I don't even drink beer, but I'll drink Teck's beer. Not really, but still. Actually, I am one of those people who is easily influenced by commercials. I bought Nad's, Di Di 7, and Proactiv. Nad's is the worst invention of all time. If it wasn't for the kiwi lotion that comes with, I would be even more pissed. Anyway, go Teck.

And what she had to say about the Friends episode - We are talking about $50,000, though. And in post Real World Road Rules life, that kind of money means months of traveling and chilling and I don't know anybody who would turn that down. Unless you're rolling on dubs like Teck Money and you have a national beer campaign and appear on Friends, a show where black people don't exist in all of New York City. Fanciful make believe. I am so proud of Teck. Infiltrate man, infiltrate.

I love Melissa - she's so funny.

Wow - I finally wiped the screen of my monitor and I can see things so much better! I'm a spoiled brat - I have a LCD monitor at work and at home.

I've been doing way too much thinking lately and I don't know what triggered it. Maybe it was the accident I got into 2 weeks ago - you know how they say your life flashes before your eyes when stuff like that happens. Or maybe I've just been too pissed off at everything, I finally decided to do something about it. Maybe it�s the talks I've been having with friends about life in general. Could also be that I'm growing up, maturing... hmmm. Naw, strike that last part. I have a lot more to do before I "grow up".

I had a long talk with my mom this weekend and even the thought of it brings tears to my eyes sometimes. I have been so selfish and stubborn the past year and a half, doing things I know I shouldn't and not listening to people who have and will always be there for me. My mom's whole life has been making sure my brother and I can survive on our own and she says she doesn't see that happening yet. My brother is still a kid (at 21, you should be! you shouldn't have any worries at that time in your life - have fun but also study your ass off so when you enter the real world you'll be successful) and I'm on my own but I'm struggling. She said she had some health problems last week and she was so worried cause she doesn't know what would happen to my brother and I. My dad will be there of course, but he's stubborn and he doesn't get along with my brother that well. My older siblings have families of their own so we can't depend on them. Besides, my older siblings (3 of them) are only half siblings to us anyway so they'll take care of themselves before they take care of me and Paulo. You'd think with two college educations, we'd be able to take care of ourselves, but there are outside factors that we can't control which are limiting us. Hopefully, the outside factors will be gone by next year but you never know. I know my mom can be traveling and enjoying her life right now, like most of her friends do, but instead, she�s working her ass off until 3 AM on weekends, making sure we have enough money to survive. My dad wants to sell the business but my mom wants to make sure Paulo and I are settled first. They could so easily sell the business and pay off the new house and retire comfortably. My mom told me to go to law school while we still have the business and she�d help me pay for it.

This whole conversation just got me thinking about how unpredictable life is. Someone you count on could disappear from your life and how are you going to survive? Apart from the obvious emotional damage, how are you going to make a living? I don�t know how the families from Sept. 11 are coping. If I was a professional working in New York, I would�ve given anything to work at the World Trade Center � it would�ve shown me I made it. (That�s part of the reason why I loved working in downtown LA). You gotta think, the people working for those top notch companies in the World Trade Center have to be making a ton of money. How are their families surviving right now? I�m sure they have high mortgages and car notes because they were counting on the spouses receiving the high salaries for a long time. I sound so materialistic right now so let me preface everything by saying of course I would give up everything to have the person back. Even for alimony the spouse making more money has to give the other spouse a monthly sum equivalent to the lifestyle they were living when they were married (every month I write a six thousand dollar alimony check to an ex-wife of my client and even though its not my money, it hurts). Money shouldn�t make such a big difference in people�s lives, but money makes the world go round � can�t live without it. I always say, I�ll marry for love and not money, but I�m assuming that I will be making enough on my own to live a comfortable life.

Speaking of marrying for love and not money, my mom told me that the dad of this guy she tried to set me up with last year died recently. He had cancer and it was only a month between the time they found it until the time he died. Anyway, this family was so rich they had to pay three million in estate taxes! I never even gave the guy a chance because I was so in love with Dante. His parents wanted him to meet someone and marry as soon as possible. I�ve talked to the guy a couple of times on the phone but I just blew him off because of my general apathy towards Asian males. But, WHAT IF? You know, what if he was sweet and he was cute? What if he would have treated me like a princess? I have had crushes on Asian guys before, believe it or not. I only wish I had dated Dante a long time ago, so I�d know by now what I want and what I don�t want in a guy. Oh well about that guy. He�s probably married by now anyway. I don�t even remember his name :).

I can�t imagine a life without struggling right now. I�m almost 25 and where is my house, where are my kids, where is my MAN? I�m nowhere close to any of those (heehee, my friends breathe a sigh of relief about the kids part). I�m sure you�ve all seen this before but here�s a link to the Quarter Life Crisis essay.

I have another long ass journal to post because of all the thinking I've been doing lately but I've just been too busy to sit down (need to fight for computer time with my good-for-nothing roommate) and start typing. And besides, yesterday was the Celebrity Mole marathon! Kathy Griffin was so funny in that. And I like how they don't dumb this down because celebrities are involved in this edition.... yeah, I'm looking at you Celebrity Jeopardy and Celebrity Who Wants to be a Millionaire!

I can't believe I'm stuck here at work on President's Day with almost no friends on AIM... The attorney's office on our floor is closed today too - You better believe I'm gonna get my butt into law school! I have a great view of the mall from my desk too. I guess the only consolidation Eileen and I have is that the weather looks bad today - not the usual sunny weather we get here. Eileen wants it to be cloudy or rainy every Saturday until April 15th since we start working on Saturdays starting this week.

Eileen called up her husband about an hour or two ago asking, "Where are my flowers? Where is my Tiffanys??" and then I heard her say, "What?? What do you mean where are my thorns???" The only person in this 4 person mini-company here who is having a Valentine's Day is our assistant Asher, but his wife is sick so they're not planning on doing anything. Eileen's husband is up in Mammoth, Stan doesn't have anybody and never mind where my man is.

I was just listening to Eileen on the phone and I realize... her whole life is spent avoiding people!! She didn't feel like seeing a client today so she told her she sent a messenger to pick up the deposits and asked her to please put Eileen on the envelope and leave it at the front desk. (Eileen is gonna go pick it up herself). She's always trying to get Stan out of our office, she's always screening her calls because she doesn't want to talk to these clueless assistants our clients have, etc. etc. Its funny watching her operate. I learn so much from her - like if you get to work early or stay late, send your boss a meaningless email just so he can see the time stamp on it (although, we have figured out a way to queue an email for delivery at a certain time) hmm...

I went to the gym last night and I was just telling Eileen how I did 300 situps (150 regular, 50 each side, 50 lower abs)... her reaction, "Wow, you must've been really pissed off." (I went to the gym cause I was pissed at someone and I needed to get out of the apartment). I was also on the weight machines and I'm sure people were looking at me like, "What the hell is she doing in here? Can she even lift a couple pounds without breaking a bone?" I didn't notice until yesterday how bony I was, compared to how I used to be. Oh well. I love my body now but I need to get some tighter clothes! :)

Heehee, Eileen was just reading something - "That Limp Bizkit guy is dating Britney Spears?" and I told her, "That was SO two weeks ago!" Oh my gosh we're pathetic.

I've finally reached a point in my life where I realize can't and won't go on struggling the way I have been this past year. I had to beg my roommate (she was cool about it) to charge the cable bill on her credit card and I would give her a check when I get paid on Friday. I've made stupid decisions this past year and my life is all screwed up because of it. Tonight, I was just thinking back to college, when we had no worries except to get papers in on time and to be able to cram enough shit into our heads an hour before finals and I miss that time. I never had money worries; there was always enough in my account to cover anything and everything I wanted to do. Trip to Hawaii? OK, Let me charge it on the credit card (so we have insurance covered) and I'll pay it off when the bill comes. I always paid bills when they came in, never looked twice at the due date because I had the money to cover it. I've made stupid decisions and what do I have to show for it? Absolutely NOTHING.

I hate this struggling shit and I don't ever see an end to it! The only person I know personally in the working world (besides the employed actor/actress/producer clients I have but they don't count) who doesn't have any money worries is Donald Re... and he was named one of the 50 Highest Paid Attorneys in Los Angeles (he says #50 died and that's why he's on the list). Don lives a simple life though - he drives an old S-class Benz, lives in a modest house in a good neighborhood and he's happy. He is also one of the most generous people I know too. He always paid for lunch for me even though I didn't technically work for him - I worked for his ex-employee. My ex-boss still owes him a lot of money that he loaned her for her to start her own practice. But anyway, back to the subject. Everyone I know has money worries! Eileen's husband makes a lot but she's still moving money from one account to another to pay for stuff. Stan is always complaining about our billing. He's 60 and he has nothing but a condo on Sunset (that he's still paying for) and a leased Lexus. My ex-boss has a nice small house in Marina Del Rey but she had to loan money from her parents to pay off her lease on her car...

I don't know what I want to do with my life but since there is zero chance I'm going to get my dream job (Lakers' front office management), I figure I'll be happy either being a lawyer or a business manager (which is what I'm doing now but I have to make WAY more money!). People tell me they hate lawyers (in fact, my roommate's boyfriend told me not to go to law school cause he hates lawyers and he likes me) but I've been surrounded by lawyers in the past and they're not that bad. My ex-boss was a criminal defense attorney and even though thats not what I want to go into, I got to meet so many influential people through her. She was president of some bar associations, her friends are respected people in the political field, she knows some judges, etc. And working as her only employee, I had interaction with all of them. I figure with my connections, I might as well do law school. I'd rather go into business or entertainment law though. Three months after I started working for the attorney, I took a business law class at UCLA... aced that class with minimal studying and I could answer anything that came up. Law is actually interesting to me... I've always been more of a social sciences person. All the cool professors I had a lot of interaction with in college are CPAs and attorneys so I figure you can't make a living off just being a CPA (just look at Stan :)).

I've decided to take the LSATs, to finally get off my ass and study for the damn test. My mom has told me that since we still do have our business and they're still able to help me out, I should take advantage of the situation and go to law school or business school. I did a small diagnostic test tonight and I got 75% of the questions right = 150 score, which is average. It doesn't seem very promising but this is a good starting point! I literally sat down for the first time since December 2000, picked up a test, started reading and answering the questions. You can't imagine how hard it was to concentrate for the first time in so long!!

I think I got a little inspiration from talking to my roommate's sister (she's staying with us for a couple weeks). She's in her 30s now I think. She graduated college, worked at a biotech lab for a while, had the house and the car, etc. Then she decided that wasn't what she wanted to do and she just gave up everything to go back to med school. She's back to struggling but it'll pay off in the long run. I really need to do something with my life cause I'm not getting any younger. It'll be hard going back to school but hey, maybe I'll meet a cute law student :). Just kidding... I think I'll be ok with going back to school because I know how much it sucks to struggle and law school (after you pay off all your school debt) will help alleviate that a little bit. Plus, I'll be surrounded with intelligent people with my similar background again. I totally miss that life.

I got the meanest boyfriend - everyone I chat with on AIM knows that I use heehee a lot because everyone else uses haha or lol... I just do that to be different and the only reason Dante picked up on that was because he tries to pretend to be me sometimes when people message me when I'm at home.

Lucyla8: i told my sis... i got into the accident... AND I dropped the phone!
dzstang97: hehe
dzstang97: you got me saying the stupid shit
Lucyla8: what?
dzstang97: hehehee
Lucyla8: heehee
Lucyla8: you're mean!
dzstang97: i know

Also...

Lucyla8: here it is - California Lottery - SuperLotto Plus Draw Results
Lucyla8: 1 winner on saturday in woodland hills - 10 million jackpot
dzstang97: bitch

Someone is bitter cause he can't seem to get even ONE number to match!

Why is it so freakin cold today?? It's 44-66 degrees Fahrenheit and yeah I know, we're wimps in So. Cal. but still! Stupid me had to change into a skirt this morning too because I just shaved my legs and it would've been a waste to keep wearing pants like I have been all week.

me and Dante...

dzstang97: i just got back from the gym
dzstang97: im going to go run for 30-45mins be back
Lucyla8: cool
Lucyla8: wow - so motivated! :-)
Lucyla8: i'm gonna sit on my ass for another couple hours

me and Mike...

bananame69: too lazy to hit boston market
Lucyla8: heehee
bananame69: but i'm making good food, so i don't mind
bananame69: =)
Lucyla8: its free mike, free! :-)
Lucyla8: just kidding
bananame69: i know! the nearest place is actually pretty close by
bananame69: but it's below freezing outside
Lucyla8: yeah, steph wants to go twice so we can get a full sandwich
Lucyla8: go once, go home, change clothes and go again
Lucyla8: boston market is really close
Lucyla8: about 3 blocks away

Damn, what we do to save a couple bucks...

Hey everybody! Boston Market is giving out free half Chicken Sandwiches today 5:30pm - 7:30pm. I am SO there!

Hmmmm... do you think Charles got through on American Idol last night because Dante voted for him like 30 times?? One person isn't supposed to be able to affect the show that much right? I thought he sang pretty well the night before but I know the judges and even Charles himself were surprised he made it.

So now there's a possibility that Dante is going to jail for 30 days if the judge decides to be mean. He was driving on a suspended license and it was the third time he got a ticket for that. I was telling Eileen about this and she said we need to work on a strategy for me to keep busy (meaning, meet some more men). She wants me to go to Bally's with her, we'll scope out the place, number every machine and then work out with earpiece sets on. If we see a cute guy, we'll tell the other person the machine number and move in for the kill. All this time and energy... I hate single life.

American Idol... I don't see anyone yet to make me forget about Justin Guarini. I went to the official site and no one even stands out that much. This is the guy that Dante liked from last night - Charles Grigsby - he sang pretty well and Dante voted for him because "we gotta support our peoples!" (cause we know the guy is black and we think he has some Asian blood in him too) and because "Damn females always win. I want to see a man win something." So mad I feel asleep after Friends last night and missed the first couple people on American Idol. Dante says this guy - Jacob John Smalley - looks like my music video boy. No way! My music video boy is cuter! But, this guy looks a little like someone I had a crush on in college - Sunset Front Desk Boy Nick :).

This picture - Chip Days - cracks me up because of the expression on his face. It looks like one of those expressions Dante makes when I'm taking a picture of him (I'm trying to get this roll of film done so I can get the pictures developed soon) where he wants to look all serious. Dante seriously loves posing for the camera. I think my biggest regret might be putting up that Tyson Beckford calendar last year cause Dante is just trying too hard. I even have a picture of Dante with no shirt on and his jacket just off his arms - this was right after he went to the gym and he wanted to show off his bulk. The first thing he does everytime he comes back from the gym is look at himself in the mirror in my room and then he heads to look at himself in the bathroom mirror - bigger mirror and better lighting I guess. Dante's cousin Johnny (who looks a little like Shemar Moore) and I have teased him before about how much he looks in the mirror. When I'm driving, he'll roll the passenger side window down and look at himself in the side rear-view mirror. If we're walking anywhere and there's a reflexive surface... yup. I don't think Tyson Beckford or Rick Fox look at mirrors that much! Speaking of Rick Fox, Ford's January U.S. Sales Rise... he looks so darn good in those commercials!

Phew... just looked at the Pac 10 basketball standings and we're not in last place!! Whoo hoo! Washington State is a little more pathetic than us, which is sad. And, U$C has only 1 more win than we do (in conference), so I don't feel as bad.

I had such a productive day on Sunday (did didley-squat on Saturday though)... I spent almost exactly $100 yesterday but it was all good - $37 at Target, $11 at Staples, $10 for laundry, $38 at Sav-on, $4 at Jack-in-the-Box. Must be watching too much Trading Spaces because I set a budget of $100 for all the things I had to do yesterday and I think I might have come in at $99.23 or something like that. I can't believe I only spent $37 at Target cause I got a ton of stuff - helps that I had about $7 worth of coupons too. The highlight of my day was the thick post-it notepad I got at Staples for 94 cents. Like I say, it doesn't take too much to make me happy. The $38 at Sav-on was a necessary expense and it was such a hassle to get. I called in my prescription at the Sav-on I usually go to (shitty hours and they always run out of the stuff I need), they told me 30 minutes so I decided to finish cleaning and mop the apartment (believe me, it NEEDED mopping, back to this later)... I was so involved with the mopping I lost track of time and when I remembered, they were closed already. I called the 24 hour Sav-on (the one I should be going to all along) and they were so helpful but I was on hold for 15 minutes and they told me it was fine, to go pick it up but they won't be able to process it under insurance. Oh well. Then I went to do laundry and took up 10 machines in this little laundromat by my apartment. (There were only 13 in the place!) Thank god it was only 50 cents wash :) (Mike! I think I'm about to take the cheapness crown away from you) I spent three hours there, didn't bother folding the clothes - that's Dante's job, stopped by Sav-on before I went home and was so tired when I got back home. I didn't feel like cooking so I went to Jack-in-the-Box to get dinner and stopped by the bank to deposit my paycheck. Busy busy day!

I don't understand why I live with 2 people who call themselves neat-freaks and I'm the only one doing major ass cleaning in the place! Supposedly, Eileen and I are the lazy slobs but our apartment was never that bad and both of us worked full-time!! Our kitchen floor was certainly nowhere near as bad as it was before I mopped last night. And the vacuum... damn people, empty the dust container!! Geez, it was almost full when I emptied it. I'm still mad at Kristi for scratching up my brand new vacuum when she first moved in. I was so sick of washing everything in the sink just to have her cook the next morning and leave all her dishes in the sink again that I just stuck with cleaning ONLY the dishes Dante and I used, just to see how long she'd keep it out... She finally washed her dishes after a week! and she made a point to do just hers and leave the 3 bowls we had in the sink. Cool... we can just stick with this arrangement.

Age old argument: (me and Steph)

Lucyla8: heehee - steve and i were having an argument about n sync on saturday - which one was cuter :-)
Lucyla8: we were talking about the astronaut thing and we started talking about lance
Lucyla8: i said he was ugly and steve said he was the best looking one... so i replied, "No way! Justin is totally the hottest one!"
petard03: WHAT?
petard03: lance?
petard03: no way
petard03: JUSTIN all the way

oops - my bad, Steve - I know you've threatened to kill me numerous times... most recently three weeks ago :) That survey question was tailor made for you.