1. MOVING SUCKS.

2. I have become dumber over the past couple months - I could not figure out how to set up my internet access on this computer - took me a couple hours and I got frustrated so I gave up, then when I came home last Sunday, Tony had it all set up. Whoohoo, the benefits of living with smart people! It took me 2 hours to figure out why I wasn't getting any "Live TV" with my TiVo... We don't have a phone line at this apartment (no need for one) so I took the TiVo over to my friend Andy's place to set up Adelphia's cable lineup and I had to skip a lot of the setup steps because I wasn't at my place. I was about to give up and then I went to settings, played around with it and found the right screen to change the connection and get my Live TV.

3. How do people live without TiVo?? I didn't have Tivo completely set up Sunday and Monday and I was DYING!! You have to rush home to watch a show, you can't pause, you can't go back if you miss something. I had to call my sis Sunday - "can you Tivo Desperate Housewives for me?" and Monday - "can you Tivo American Idol for me?" My roommates are missing their shows too so both of them are getting Tivo... if they activate it under my account, it's only $6.95 a month instead of $12.95. The new Tivos look so much cooler than the one I have!!

4. You guys have to see Fat Actress - the show is hilarious! Actually, the first episode is... the second one is kinda blah but it's still good. Showtime is having a free preview weekend March 4-7 and Fat Actress premieres on the 7th... I went to the premiere last week and it was way more fun than the L Word one. Raven Symone was sitting in front of us and she's so much chubbier than I remember her being... Kelly Preston and Mark Curry (Hanging with Mr. Cooper) were also there. The after-party was at the Geisha House and Kirstie Alley was dancing with everyone... she seems so nice. Her assistant on the show was pretty cool too... He and his friends were just dancing their butts off - I love goofy guys. Mark Curry kept looking in our direction :).

I have been doing a lot of cleaning these last 2 months, throwing away things from my childhood, etc... it hit me how much I hate the person I have become these last few years. I was so sheltered, so responsible, so organized (to the point of being anal) and just so much better than the person I am now. I want to start all over but before I can do that, there's a lot of debt I have to clear. I can't believe all the shit I used to do for Dante, all the lies I believed, all the suffering I did just to make him happy.

All these what ifs enter my mind... what if I had gotten a job at a Big 5 Accounting firm (it's now the Big 4 but I'm used to saying the Big 5), what if I hadn't had to interview with that ass Charlie Osaki, the head of recruiting for Deloitte at the time (who got fired a couple months later because of sexual harassment), I would probably have gotten the job there and I would have never met the guy who ruined my life. Maria had set me up with Deloitte and they invited me to all the recruiting events that fall and everyone seemed to like me except for Charlie. I was in a small group of people who they invited to all the events and I think everyone else in that group did get an offer from Deloitte. Someone told me that they went to one of those recruiting events with Charlie and he would point out - "look at that girl's ass", etc. and that's probably part of the reason he was fired. The day of my interview, I know Charlie deliberately chose me to interview - I don't know what grudge he had against me. I always tell people, I guess my ass wasn't big enough for Charlie. (My ass wasn't as big as it is now :)).

I don't know if I would have been happy at one of those Big 5 firms because I know a lot of people who went on to work for them and left as soon as their 2 years were up (you need 2 years experience to get your CPA license and the Big 5 was the best way to get it), but it was the way I had planned my life so it was such a disappointment for me that I wasn't able to get in. I was supposed to work for a Big 5, work my ass off for a couple years and enjoy the benefits of the hard work later... I was supposed to meet someone who was in the same field, who wore suits to work and who just commanded attention because they were just that amazing. Oh yeah, and he's cute (of course), fit and a little taller than me. I was supposed to be married in my late 20s and we were going to have 3 kids (girl, boy, girl), the house with the nice yard, and both of us were going to be making good money so we wouldn't have any money issues in our life... Life certainly doesn't turn out the way you plan it.

Even with all I went through working for Stan, I'm glad business management just fell into my lap like that. I was working for a criminal defense attorney after college (a lady I worked for part-time when I was in college) and I told her I wanted to go into accounting instead so I told her she needed to find someone... when she found a person to take over my job, I knew I had to get off my ass and look for my accounting job... it took me 5 days from the time I first sent out resumes to the day I signed my papers to work for Stan. I know now that if I have to do accounting for the rest of my life, I'd rather do what I do now - business management for entertainment clients. The entertainment industry part makes the job more fun - these people make lucrative amounts of money for what they do and some spend equally lucrative amounts of money on unimaginable stuff. We always have a lot of stories to tell in the office.

Wow, I really went off the subject... :)

I was going through my stuff at my parent's house and I see all the folders I had made for everything in my life. First off, the no-brainer, I had all my bank / credit card statements / bills 2 hole punched and in manila folders. I had folders for Target, Best Buy, and whatever stores I go to a lot and the folders were filled with receipts. Then I had folders for newspaper articles, mall pamphlets, fast food menus, directions to random places, application papers, etc. I also had random little notes in a folder. I found a folder labeled "Hawaii 2000" and I found the plane tickets, the little brochures we collected there, pictures, receipts, etc. I remember I did all this for the criminal defense attorney so I wanted to organize my life that way too.

I'm so glad she was my first real job - she taught me a lot of things that I wish I hadn't lost when I worked for Stan (he was so disorganized it was unbearable to work for him). My grammar was also so much better when I worked for her. I got disorganized in the 2.5 yrs I was with Stan because it was impossible to be organized around him and after a while, you just don't care. My grammar plummeted because I had to deal with assistants who barely knew English and after a while, you just dealt with it and you don't bother correcting the grammar on the letters the assistant sent out because no one else seemed to care.

Argh, I'm sleeping on an air mattress this week because I moved my bed to the new apartment last week... you ask why I haven't fully moved into the new apartment yet? The cable/internet isn't going to be set up until Saturday :). Some people understand me!! No cable, no internet = nothing to do. Plus, I'm here at the old apartment still packing my stuff. I'm so bad at this - I procrastinate because the deadline for me to move out is 10 more days. I'm going to try to do the bulk of the moving this weekend though.

I went to "the L Word" premiere tonight at the DGA building in Hollywood... thought it would be a good place to meet cute desirable guys (employed and well-connected) but halfway through the after-party, I realized it was a bad idea. Yeah there were cute guys there but the party was in West Hollywood and you know what that means - its hard to figure out the straight guys from the gay ones. This one cute guy was doing an interview on camera and I totally thought he was straight but then after the interview, this guy comes up and gives him a kiss... woops, my mistake.

The L Word is a good show, but it's not for me. I'm watching Sex and the City now so I can go to sleep with things back to normal... um, not that there's anything wrong with that.

I can finally get back to work now... I was getting slightly annoyed at Don because I had been signed onto AIM for half an hour this morning and he hadn't messaged me Happy Valentine's Day yet. I don't know why I was getting annoyed because he has no obligation to - we aren't a couple... but he's a nice guy and it would be nice if he did. Why have I become so girly?? I was moody last week because I found out he dated another girl at this company 2 years ago (I've never met her because she left a while ago - she was 30 and 2 years ago he was 20, so I guess I'm not that much of a cradle robber... I have no reason to be moody - everyone has exes and my ex moved in with me while Don and I were still dating (because he "had nowhere else to go" which can be translated into: he was jealous and just wanted to ruin things for me). I'm not a completely bad person though! If Don wasn't moving to Florida, I would have cut off all contact with the ex.

Now that Amazing Race is over, I've been catching up on the other shows... I was watching the American Idol auditions and at first that guy Mario reminded me of Wilmer Valderrama (Fez from That 70s Show) but during the Pasadena auditions, I started seeing a little Justin Guarini in him... maybe it's the way he sings or the way he looks (minus the hair of course). After watching the new season, I started missing Justin Guarini so I popped in my American Idol 1 DVD (thanks Steve, my source for embarassing DVDs). If Justin is googling his own name, I just want to say - Justin, I still love you!

What is my pre-occupation with the name Justin?? I keep finding more Justins to love. Besides Justin Timberlake and Justin Guarini, I found another crush - Justin Bruening from All My Children... I think he looks like a cuter version of Don. :)

I won the fourth quarter in our office Super Bowl pool!! Whoohoo, a whopping $25! Still, money is money and thats paid for lunch so far this week.

I am officially a resident of Santa Monica now... we got our apartment last week but I've been way too lazy to pack my stuff - mostly because I thought Dante would take over my lease at this apartment so I could take my time but I talked to my roommate and she didn't want him staying here. Oh well, glad I'm not going to have to deal with her anymore, that pain in the ass! I told her I'm moving out the end of this month and I already gave her an option but she didn't want to take it, so if she can't find anyone by February 28... thats her problem. She already screwed me over the month before she moved in, so I have NO sympathy for her.

I'm sad that Kris and Jon lost the Amazing Race at the end... that put a damper on my week. The host called them the "kissiest couple ever on the Amazing Race" :) They were so fun to watch and I totally want a relationship like they have. OOOH!! That's what I'll visualize this year - the tarot card reader at a client's holiday party told me to visualize what I want and I will get that or something better in the span of a year (so I'll get it before December 11th). The visualization card was my "present" card... my "future" card was the card of change and since the party, I have a new car and a new apartment. I'm working on the new man and new CPA license :) What else can I change??

New York Post Online Edition: news - Kobe's accuser is married and pregnant??

It's amazing how I stuck with Kobe during that whole criminal case but mess with my Shaq and I'll hate you forever...

Shit shit shit shit shit... I was catching up on 2 weeks worth of 24 just now and when I turned on Monday's episode... "WHAT THE HELL!!! WHY ARE THERE ONLY 15 MINUTES RECORDED??" I was on a plane at 8pm Monday, I didn't turn the channel, so I figure the only one stupid enough to risk me killing him for turning the channel while TiVo is recording is Dante. I'm so glad I'm moving so no one can mess with my TiVo!!

Anyways, I got on the TWoP message boards and Tony was back in this episode!! That made me soooo much more pissed. If I had watched it and seen Tony show up when I wasn't expecting it, I woulda used the reaction I have saved in case I ever saw Justin Timberlake in person and screamed like there was no tomorrow. Does anyone have a copy of it?? I need more friends with Tivo. :(

My trip to Florida was fun - it was just like me and Don hanging out on the weekends except instead of going 5 mins to his apartment, I flew 2500 miles to hang out with him. It was so nice just seeing him again and it was so relaxing. The only bad thing about seeing him is I get used to someone doing everything for me, even if it was only for 4 days and now I'm back in LA and back doing everything on my own. I got to see his house and its still mind-boggling how this 22 year old has his own 3 bedroom house with a huge backyard, a circular driveway, a big living room and a game room (big enough to have a pool table and a wet bar), etc and he is only paying about $1200/mo for mortgage. I hate LA... everything is overpriced! I don't know what I was expecting to see in Lakeland but there are some amazing homes there around this one lake he took me to. His house was ok but these houses around the lake are movie-type mansions.

Oh my gosh I can't wait til next Tuesday! I can't believe how addicted I am to the Amazing Race... so addicted I seriously want to move to Scottsdale, Arizona (where Jon is from). I saw on some list that Scottsdale is one of the fastest growing cities in the US or something like that (maybe - hottest cities to live in, can't remember) and after coming back from Florida and seeing how people can afford to buy houses for less than an arm and a leg, I want to buy a house in Scottsdale and catch the wave while it's still hot.

I've been so sour on LA lately - I pinpoint it to the day they declared Kobe the king of the world and sent Shaq and Phil Jackson packing.

Craving ice cream so I'm going to get off my big butt and go get some...