You guys think I'm bad at work... Eileen left for "lunch" at noon... it's 5pm right now. I would never be that bold!!

I'm so sad Sex and the City is ending next week. I was so happy to see Mr. Big on the episode last night! Say what you want about Mr. Big but he's the one I want to see Carrie end up with. She totally loves him for him even though he can be an asshole. I think she loves the Russian for how he treats her. No matter how good a guy treats a girl, if she doesn't feel the spark, she won't be happy. Carrie wasn't happy with Aidan either and he treated her like a princess. I still remember the one episode where she kept waking up in the middle of the night for no reason and she couldn't figure out why until she realized there was no drama in her life.

My sister is a prime example of not being happy with a guy who treats her well... She's engaged to this guy who puts up with everything she and her daughter dole out but she tells me she's not happy. I even told her no one else would put up with her shit. She is constantly berating him, yelling at him and her daughter picks that up and does the same. Our parents want her to hurry up and get married and have his kid but she's been putting it off as long as she can and the guy wants to be with her so bad he goes along with it. She was telling me last week that in every one of her past relationships, she's been affectionate with the guy but with this guy, no hugs hello, no kisses goodbye, etc. She doesn't even want to have his baby! What kind of relationship is that? (She said she wants a mixed kid instead if she ever has another kid). We were in Monterey Park having dinner and she said, "just look around here... Look at these guys!" There were a bunch of William Hungs there. :)

My parents' relationship scarred us for life I think. I haven't been attracted to Asian guys because I think that if I do end up with someone Asian, the relationship will turn out like my parents'. My mom doesn't love my dad... they don't even sleep in the same room!! I grew up with my mom talking shit about my dad to everyone who would listen. (If I ever have a kid, I want the kid to worship his/her dad. I would never talk shit about the dad in front of them!) Theirs was mostly a marriage of convenience and it shows. Can you believe I've never hugged my mom or my dad and I've never seen them be affectionate with each other?? I hug Dante a couple times a day and we won't say goodbye without a peck on the lips even if we're mad at each other.

I see a lot of similarities between Carrie/Big and me/Dante. The relationships are so messed up, friends don't like the guy, etc... but when we are together, we're happy. Just seeing him brightens my day. I don't think Dante and I would be together in the end and I don't even know if I would want to end up with him but if Carrie/Big do end up together, it'll give me hope. Dante and I have a baby pact. We had breakfast on Valentine's Day (at like 2pm) and I was telling him about what my sister and I talked about the night before. We both acknowledged we'd have a cute kid (Asian/black) and he already knows I didn't want to raise a kid alone (I don't think Dante is responsible enough to have a kid). We agreed if we were still childless when I turn 30, we can try for one. I originally said 35 but he reminded me I don't want to be like Eileen (she's 39 now she spends all day bitching and moaning about not having a kid, among other things). We'll see what happens.