Don called me last night at 11pm (2am over in Florida) to tell me he got to Florida ok... I was sooooo happy to hear from him - I wanted to tell him to call me when he got there but I knew if I told him to, he would definitely do it (he always keeps his word, which is so hard to find in a guy) so I was testing him a little bit to see if he would call without me telling him to. He passed! :) not that it matters; he's still out of my life.

He asked me how my weekend was and I told him I was on my way home from shopping with my friend... he asked if I was good and I said I was - didn't spend a lot of money. I had to get the Justin Timberlake CD again though because I NEEDED it and he laughed at me. Why do guys not understand my Justin Timberlake obsession?? Don knew I was going crazy because I hadn't been able to find that CD for a week. I told him I NEEDED the CD because JT always makes me feel better and he asked, "You were feeling bad??" DUH!! But anyways, I didn't want him to know I got attached... I told him, "Yeah, I lost the best cuddler and best kisser I've ever met, so I NEEDED Justin to make me feel better." He thought that was really sweet...

1 phone call was all it took to get myself out of that little depression. The more I think about him, the more I realize what a great guy he was...

I am going nuts right now... I can't find my Justin Timberlake Justified CD and I need that to help me get through this difficult time. I have his DVD with all his music videos but thats not the same.

I guess the upside to all this is I haven't really eaten too much this weekend and that little belly I have is shrinking... just in time for me to fit into the dress I got for the office Christmas party next week! Adriana just gave me a heads up that I have to give a speech at the party because I'm new so now I have to figure out what I'm going to say.

I said goodbye to Don this morning and I've been crying all day... started 5 minutes after we said goodbye and he told me to take care of myself and not to let Dante ruin my life because I'm too good for that. I know everyone tells me that but coming from Don, I almost started crying right there. I had told him earlier Dante moved back in the week before because he got kicked out of his place and that I really needed to move because as long as I stay at my current apartment, he's going to feel free to come and go as he pleases because this apartment has been under my name for a while and I've been letting roommates move in. If I live with Tony and Marilu, they're not going to let me give him a key so that'll take care of that. I hate confrontation so I'd rather move than deal with stuff.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Replacement boy isn't as cute as I remember... My friend sent us pictures from the fashion show and Marvis obviously doesn't photograph well. He was so much cuter in person! I wasn't drunk that night either.

5 days and counting until my happiness drives out of my life... Don is leaving Saturday at 4am, maybe even sooner if he gets everything done... driving all the way to Florida with his dad. Oh well - fun while it lasted.

I was watching Laguna Beach: The Real OC tonight and one of the girls was talking about how she didn't want to get too close to her boyfriend because he was leaving in 2 months (for college) and she said, "I just don't want to get attached, you know?" I just started laughing because of all the "don't get attached" shit I've been going through lately.

Even with all the crying I'm going to be doing later this week, this month was definitely worth it. I met an amazing guy with extraordinary aspirations for the future and he has made me a better person. He wants a billion dollar empire and he is well on his way to achieving that. How many 22 year olds start a computer networking business, buy a house and give their parents money? AT 22!! He already has a huge job lined up with one of the clients from my job who has a house in Florida also. If this computer networking thing doesn't work out, he can always fall back and be a stockbroker. We were talking the other night and I realized he has the work ethic my dad does. My dad has his flaws but he has achieved so much in his life - my dad didn't even go to high school!! Don and I both grew up with the same values... you KNOW I've been hanging out with ghetto people for way too long if I think not having a kid in your mid-20s (out of wedlock) is an achievement. (no offense to anyone) It was refreshing to hear him say that he wouldn't have a kid until after he got married either.

I am definitely not going back to Dante... that boy hasn't changed! A player will always be a player - don't let them fool you. Remember a couple weeks ago when I said he broke up with his other girlfriends, yada yada yada... um... you break their hearts by telling them you don't want to be with them and you want to be with this other person but they still e-mail you like nothing ever happened? (He left his e-mail up when he used my computer tonight) Yeah, because nothing happened. I had a couple people at work tell me - "he didn't do it in front of you right? How do you know he really did?" Damn, I love the people at work! They make sure I don't forgive Dante!

I got a great opportunity to compare the two this weekend... I went over to Don's apartment Saturday night, hung out with his roommates and co-workers... that night, Don got up 4 times to go throw up (because he had a huge hangover from his friend's engagement party) - he did his best to not wake me up and even though there's an ironing board in the middle of the room, he doesn't turn the light on because its hard to go back to sleep after turning a light on. He's so considerate! Sunday night, Dante comes home at 2:30 am (from hanging out with a girl I bet)... I was fast asleep but he turns on my light, gets on my computer, moves around a lot in my chair (which squeaks like there's no tomorrow) and starts printing out job listings from the internet... that couldn't wait til the morning, you ass?? You've been unemployed 2 months, whats another couple hours?? The printer is freakin loud so I wake up and can't go back to sleep. Did he care?? NOOOOOOOOO.

I have a potential replacement lined up for Don, just in case I ever feel like I want to get back into a relationship with Dante... this guy is supposed to be really sweet and everything too. My friend had a fashion show last weekend and he was one of the models... black, tall and amazingly cute. My friend said he's single, just moved to LA a couple months ago (so he won't be moving to Florida anytime soon) and she met him at a supermarket because he thought she was someone he knew and she thought he was someone she knew but they didn't know each other :). Her husband doesn't like her being friends with the guy so she has been trying to set him up with people just to get her husband off her back. How does she meet guys like that at Ralphs and I just meet Ralphs workers??

Other than that, my life is finally complete... the OC is back and the Amazing Race is on...

It is amazing how one person can just brighten up your day when you hear from them unexpectedly... no, I'm not getting attached but when Don IMed me tonight with the kissy face, I just couldn't stop smiling. I spent the weekend with him, his roommate and his brother and it was fun. His family is just freakishly tall - he's 6'3, his brother is 6'2 and they're both skinny.

I was just staring at Dante the other day and I couldn't see what I loved so much about him for all those years... He's finally realized he loves me the way I loved him for 3 1/2 years but I don't have those feelings for him anymore. Dante has been crying over me all week and I just don't care anymore. He told me the other day, if I promise to love you and cherish you and be faithful to you but you can't talk or see him ever again, can you do it? NOOOOOOOO... Actually, I didn't have to say that - my silence was enough. I can't give up any time with Don, even if we only have 2 weeks left. Don is the one who brightens up my day now.

AMAZING RACE TUESDAY!!! WHOOOOHOO! And Elf comes out on DVD that day too... Can't wait!

Why do I keep saving the posts as drafts and not posting them?? The POST button is a bright orange one!!

Everything is ok now between me and Mr. Don't Get Attached. He brightened my day before I got off work yesterday by inviting me to the gym with him and everything seems normal now. I bench pressed for the first time in my life... 45 lbs (which is the weight of the bar without any weights on it) - I usually avoid the hardcore weights part of the gym but he forced me to work out with him. It was nice - I'm getting sore now but my muscles look amazing. We had to rush because he wanted to be home in time for South Park though :) . He had me spend the night over there too and everything is cool again.

So Mr. Perfect found a way to piss me off, and I'm glad he did...

We were cuddling in bed last night and I said, "I love cuddling with you" and all of the sudden he says, "You're not getting attached are you??" I say, "I know I can't" and he says, "Good, no attachments." That pissed me off and I said, "We can still be FRIENDS right???" GEEZ! After that he slept with his back to me the whole night... whats up with that??

I was analyzing it a little too much with co-workers this morning... Did he think I said, "I love you" and not "I love cuddling with you??" How can you miss cuddling?? It's a 2 syllable word!!

Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. I just told him this morning, "YOU call me when you want to hang out.... I don't want to feel like I'm forcing you to hang out and I don't want to take you away from your friends your last couple weeks here." We'll see what happens...

On the other hand, Dante has been crying, pouring his heart out to me lately... even breaking up with all his other girlfriends just because of me. I've seen him upset over girls before, even one he loved way more than me but it didn't last as long as it's lasting now. He's never gone to the extreme of breaking up with his other girlfriends either... Can people change?? I know everyone is going to kick my ass if I take him back though.

I am going to be crying so much the end of this month... it was stupid of me to go into a relationship when I know I only have a month with the guy before he moves out of the state but it was completely worth it. This past week has been amazing and it has completely changed my attitude towards Dante. This was the final push I needed to get over him and now he's on the other end - begging me to spend time with me, calling me just to chat (and getting the voice mail when he calls), telling me he loves me and he misses me, etc... and I'm the one who really doesn't care anymore. Dante is just an annoyance, just like I was to him for 3 years... I don't get excited anymore when he calls. In fact, the other day I was in the car with Maria and we were having fun because we had just made plans with Don on the phone and we were on our way to meet him... Dante calls, wants to chat, I don't feel like it and he could sense it. Before he hung up, he said I love you and I just couldn't say it back to him. He got upset, said, I'll never say I love you to you again and I just said, "Bye" and hung up the phone. What goes around comes around... he had been doing that to me for 3 years and now he wants to change? Too little too late buddy! I was just crying myself to sleep the day before I started dating Don... Dante had spent the night that night and was in bed with me but he was talking on the phone for 2 freakin hours to an ex trying to get her back. I even went into the living room for an hour to talk on the phone with Nozomi because I was so upset / pissed off / sad. Now I'm supposed to forget all that? HA!

Don is an complete change from Dante - I know it's early but its just the little things - the way a person grew up, the way they treat people, the values they have and the determination they have to succeed. Don wants to build his billion dollar empire and I completely believe he can. He's 22 now but he has a lot of investments (I'm 26 and what are investments?) (I know what you're thinking right now but we're only 3 1/2 years apart, if that makes it better). He's moving to Florida because his parents are retired down there, he's going to buy a house and start his own computer networking company. He also has a Series 3 (stockbrokers?) license and he coulda made a lot of money in that but he hated the cold calls and the whole environment so he went back to computers 2 months later. Don is sooooo nice to people - everyone here loves him and Maria loved him when she had dinner with us last Saturday. Don also told me, "I'm great with parents too." DON'T tell me that when I know we only have a month! He got mad at me when I was telling Maria about one of the partners here at work everyone makes fun of (he got a new Porsche Carrera and new teeth recently - yea I said TEETH (caps) - and everyone makes fun of the way he talks now... plus he's a dwarf (upper body is normal sized, legs just really really short). The partner is a really nice guy but it's just so easy to make fun of him... anyway, Don got mad at me because he feels sorry for the guy. There's also another girl here most people don't like but I can't say anything to Don because he thinks she's the nicest person (he says she's the girl who works in a group project and does all the work and lets everyone have all the credit but we don't like her because she is anal and the girl who works with her is always complaining because she never has anything to do)... He gives me shit for being one of those people who cut in on the Cloverfield exit so I don't do it anymore (the right-most lane of the freeway is always packed in the morning and it turns into two lanes at the exit but everyone sticks to the right most lane of the exit so if you're in the next lane on the freeway, you can cut in at the exit and still make your right turn, if that makes any sense at all)... Whats wrong with this guy, turning me into a nice person again? Whats up with that??

This weekend was so fun... A partner offered us tickets to the UCLA - Washington game and I was the first to jump on that so I got to go... he had 4 tix, 45 yard line with Lot F (SO CLOSE) parking included. Maria wanted to go and I hadn't seen her in a while so we went with her supervisor (brownie points for her, DirecTV connections for my company :))... Game sucked - too many turnovers and we missed a 2 point conversion at the end of the game so we lost by 2. After the game Maria and I made plans to meet up with Don at a restaurant... she loved him... she hated Dante from the day she met him almost 4 years ago and I should have listened to her. Anyway, after dinner Don and I walked back to his apartment and there were flowers there waiting for me. I spent the night with him and his friends (one of his roommates comes by our company also doing computer stuff) just watching movies and having fun. The next morning he cooks me breakfast - he cooks! After breakfast I fall asleep and he sees me sleeping so he just cuddles with me and I didn't realize we took a 2 hour nap until his dad called him. His parents are so excited to have him move to Florida. It was just a nice fun relaxing weekend - one that I haven't had in a long time...

TOO BAD HE'S LEAVING!! :( And neither of us want a long distance relationship and I'm not going to leave my job (after 4 years of working I've finally found a job I want to stay 10+ years at) so at the end of the month, thats that.

Good day today...

Don called me when I was at work... just to say hi! Wow, another amazing concept. Ass Dante only calls to ask for money or ask how to do stuff. We talked on the phone for 2 hours last night and it was just great. I love the people at work so when I'm talking about them, he knows who I'm talking about and he tells me other shit about these people. I'm totally seeing the difference between these 2 guys and even when Don moves to Florida, I'm not going back to Dante. Dante is changing his behavior, trying to be sweet but he just annoys the hell out of me now.

Yesterday I had a tax refund check for a client... Adriana and I thought it was 98k and we were amazed at how much he paid in taxes if he got 98k back federal. Today I was doing the deposit and I realize, it's not 98k... its 986k!! I thought I entered too many numbers. I thought his CA tax refund was 26k, turns out it's 265k. Amazing. The client is awesome though - he started from nothing and you can imagine how much he made if he got 986k back in federal taxes. Wish people would stop talking about the top 1% getting back whatevers in taxes... if you paid $400 in taxes, do you expect to get more than that back?? The client paid millions in taxes to get that amount back, so we should hate them because they got more $$ back right? These people do help the economy a lot, believe me... I've seen their credit card statements.

I don't know where to start... the last 3 days have been amazing. I'm just taking the last steps to finally get rid of the loser in my life :).

So I started dating this new guy - one of the computer guys who comes around our office every now and then. We spent 45 mins talking in the kitchen last Friday at work even though both of us had so much to do and when my co-workers were going out, I invited him to come along but he had some more computers to set up. (perfect opportunity to exchange numbers - call me when you're done so I can tell you where we're at and come join us). Anyway, long story short, we hung out Saturday night and Sunday night (drove back from OC Saturday just to spend time with him, drove back to OC the next morning) and he's such a refreshing change from Dante. When we went to dinner Saturday night, he paid! Yeah, what a concept huh?? When you date a broke loser for so long, you just don't realize how much easier life can be. Don is employed and sooo responsible. He's young but he put himself through college, he has a lot of investments and he's moving to Florida in a month to buy a house there and watch over his parents (who he gives money to every month). Geez, way more responsible than I am!! I'm still the spoiled brat who gets money when I go back to OC to see my parents... Dante came by this morning to use my computer, etc (he spends the entire day here on the computer "working" and I don't know what the hell he's doing - you can only take so much porn right?) and he had the nerve to ask me if I had $10 so he could get some pants out of the tailor. "Didn't I give you $10 for that a month ago???" Aargh!! That was just the last straw - we got into a huge argument about everything and I got my key back from him (which means nothing because he can always climb through the window like he does if he forgets the key). Dante knew I was talking to someone new and he knew I was out Saturday night because he came over and I wasn't here but my car was. He came over first thing Sunday morning just to make sure I wasn't in bed with the guy. WTF! I got so pissed off about that because he's been with so many girls since we broke up a while ago but I can't date another guy?

Anyways, at the office today - Jon comes straight out and says, "so you hooked up with Don?" so everyone was teasing me about it. Jon started asking me "did you see his hard drive?" "...input?" "did he give you a virus?" etc., just being stupid but thats what I love about my co-workers - everyone is goofy and most of us get along so well we can talk/joke about anything. Don has been coming by the office the last four years so they feel like they saw him grow up. Why does everyone mention his big feet?? Thats not why I started seeing him!! He's tall, he has to have big feet. He's just the sweetest guy but because Dante is the only other boyfriend I've ever had, I was hurt so much it is hard for me to believe any guy can be sweet. I was just asking people - tell me something bad about Don! No one had anything bad to say, by the way. I remember when I first started dating Dante and he met my friends, no one liked him. I shoulda listened.